The Misconceptions People Have About Anxiety Disorder

I didn't have a very good day yesterday. I was very emotional, way down, and so tired.  My husband, Mark and I did some gardening. It was tiring too me but getting it done was a great feeling.

Today, my post is on the subject of Anxiety, and what you should never say to someone who suffers with this disorder.

Here are the top 10 that people will say:

1. Why are you so quiet? This is one of the most unhelpful things that can be said to a person suffering with anxiety. with seem innocent enough to you,th SAD. You are singling out someone who doesn't want to be the center of attention, but you are also bringing attention to that person's anxiety; If you really want to start a conversation, try asking open-ended questions about topics that the person is passionate about or share a funny story you heard. He or she will be grateful you took the lead
2. You need to be more positive. A person with anxiety disorder has problematic thought patterns outside his control, these patterns are not easily changed without outside intervention. Although you may think that your advice is helpful, it trivializes the problem and places the blame on the person for not being able to "out-think" the disorder.
3. You just need to face your fears. This comment goes hand-in-hand with thinking positive. Although a person with SAD does need to face his fears, it needs to be done in a gradual way with professional supervision. Otherwise, anxiety can become so intense that the fear is increased rather than lessened.
4. I know how you feel...I'm shy too. There is nothing worse than hearing that someone knows how you feel when they clearly don't. Don't tell a person with anxiety disorder, that you know how he feels. Also, don't tell him that you used to be shy but you got over it and he can too. It minimizes his feelings by comparing it to yours. Unless you have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, you have no idea how a person with anxiety disorder feels.
5. I need you to make a presentation, in our meeting tomorrow. Always be sure to give a person with anxiety,  plenty of notice about social or performance job-related expectations such as presentations, employee luncheons or even casual discussions in meetings. A person with anxiety disorder,  does not react well to being put on the spot. If you truly value your employee, respect his need for advance notice and give it.
6. Why don't you have a drink and loosen up. Although most mean well when they advise that a person with SAD have a drink to relieve anxiety, it is a dangerous suggestion. People with SAD are at an increased risk for substance abuse disorders and it is never good idea to rely on a substance as a crutch Drinking as a way of coping with social anxiety can lead to the development of alcoholism.
7. Wow your face is really red. Chances are, the person whose face just turned red knows that it happened. And, you pointing it out probably made it turn three shades brighter.  People who blush easily, whether they have anxiety disorder or not,  generally don't like being made the center of attention when it happens. It's not something they can control and it will only embarrass them more.  
8. Let me order for you. Although it can be tempting to talk for a person with ansiety disorder, doing so both undermines that person's confidence and takes away an opportunity for him to practice to practice social skills. If you know someone who suffers with the disorder, be patient and supportive, but do not speak on his behalf.
9. Your hands were shaking during your speech. Again, chances are the person giving the speech knows that her hands shook the whole time. Finding out that other people noticed as well is only going to make things worse. Instead, find something positive to say about the speech and congratulate her on a job well done.
10. Anxiety Disorder isn't real. You're just shy. The attitude that people with the disorder are simply shy is part of the reason why most sufferers never seek help or receive treatment. Anxiety Disorder is more that shyness. it  affects every aspect of daily life. It is irresponsible to debate the legitimacy of something if you know little about it and have not experienced it firsthand.

If you or someone you know suffers with anxiety disorder. Please be understanding, compassionate, patient and loving. They can't explain how it really feels. All you have to know is it's real, it's serious and the sufferer can't tell you how they feel.